


salt water

by EllsterSMASH



Series: little pieces of us [9]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Prompt Fill, post-Crestwood, solavellan hell is suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 05:35:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18046481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllsterSMASH/pseuds/EllsterSMASH
Summary: Prompt: [14 - “Am I not good enough?” / “I’m not good enough.”]Lavellan returns from Crestwood.





	salt water

For the first time in a long time, she is alone. Her bed gapes at her from the middle of her room, empty, sheets and quilt peeled back for her but all that waits for her between them are soured memories. He kissed her like he meant it and left her like he didn’t.

Somewhere in this keep, Solas is sleeping. Probably. Dreaming, of who knows what or who knows who. Not her, not anymore.

On the way back, she’d thought of all the things she’d say when she saw him. After she rode triumphant through the gates with her trophy wheeled behind her, and before he admitted she was right, he was wrong, let’s try again. Called him names, reminded him how she loved him, begged for answers. She’d covered every angle.

And in her head, she had prevailed each time. One way or another, he had always given in.

Then they’d ridden through the gates and he had not even come out to see. All the arguments she’d won deflated, immaterial, insubstantial. Just a banging against the walls, and he couldn’t hear it anyway.

So she’s here, instead, alone. Locked in her tower far above the busy kitchens and the late-night drinkers and his room, wondering  _ why? _

It consumes her. She can’t ask him, and even if she could, he wouldn’t give her what she wants.

But  _ why? _

_ You love me, you said so. And I said it, too . . . eventually. Not soon enough? Do you think I lied? That I didn’t mean it? Are you afraid? _

_ You wouldn’t run even if you were. That’s my thing. _

_ So why? _

_ Did I do something wrong? _

_ Am I not what you wanted? _

_ Am I not good enough? _

She is alone, and then she’s not. A hand on her knee, pale knobby knuckles at the end of well-worn sleeves.

“It is not your fault.”

The words unravel her, as they are meant to. Cole tilts his head to move his hat’s wide brim out of her way, and his shoulder is hard under her cheek. It is hard, but it is here, and it soaks up salt water as well as a soft one.

It is not her fault.

She is not alone.

**Author's Note:**

> [[View on Tumblr](https://ellstersmash.tumblr.com/post/183326773701/hiya-heres-a-prompt-for-dadwc-14-am-i-not)]


End file.
